Friday, November 21, 2008

Jane wanted me to do this

So I shall, and plus it's a nice gesture.

Monday, November 17, 2008

"But IM N DA ARMY"

So, I met this legend on JTV:

[15:05] (flyguy1) JK IM IN COLLEGE SO IM GROWN

This is important to remember.


[15:10] (flyguy1) i was stationed at FORT HOOD TX WHEN I WAS IN THE ARMY
[15:15] (flyguy1) im drinking and smoking right now with two girls...im pretty sure averybody would love to see that.
[15:15] (flyguy1) IM MY IS A NONSTOP PARTY 24/7
[15:15] (flyguy1) i get off work and start drinking...invite some army groupies over to chill with me
[15:16] (flyguy1) when you are in the army. you have to stay drunk to stay sane
[15:16] (flyguy1) my fridge is loaded with beer and hard liquor

That's not too bad, I guess. But this is just incredible:

[15:32] (flyguy1) THE AIR FORCE AND NAVY ARE FOR BITCHES...IF YOU WANT TO SEE COMBAT JOIN THE ARMY OF MARINES..HOOOOAAAAHHH

Holy shit.

At this point he was repeatedly informed that the Marines are a branch of the Navy.

He persists:

[15:32] (flyguy1) GO ARMY GO MARINES...HOOOOAAHHH...*** THE NAVY AND AIR FORCE FAGGOTS
[15:33] (flyguy1) IM NOT TALKING ABOUT WWII OR THE NAVY SEALS..THOSE GUYS ARE BADASS

Yea, because those guys have nothing to do with the Navy, right?

[15:33] (flyguy1) IM TALKING ABOUT ENLISTED NAVY AND AIR FORCE COWARDS..

Because the SEALS aren't enlisted, apparently.

[15:35] (flyguy1) THOSE NAVY AND AIR FORCE ENLISTED ARE PUNKS.THEY DONT DO ***...ITS ALWAYS THE ARMY AND MARINES DYING IN IRAQ...I DONT CONSIDER NAVY AND AIR FORCE FIGHTING THE WAR ON TERROR BECAUSE THEY DONT DO ***

Yea, because the Air Force never provides covering fire to ground troops. And none of those ground troops are ever Navy officers.

Oh.

[15:36] (flyguy1) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD A SAILOR OF A AIRMEN DYING IN IRAQ...ITS ALWAYS THE ARMY AND MARINES SHEDDING BLOOD

Rest in peace.

[15:37] (flyguy1) THE ARMY AND MARINES ARE HARD...WE SOME HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKERS....PLEASE DONT COMPARE US TO NO NAVY OF AIR FORCE COWARDS
[15:39] (flyguy1) AS A SOLDIER IVE BEEN TO IRAQ AND FOUGHT ALONG SIDE SOME HARDCORE MARINES...IVE NEVER SEE NO NAVY FAGS IN IRAQ...I NEVER SAW NO AIR FORCE PUNKS IN IRAQ....ITS ALWAY THE ARMY AND MARINES SHEDDING BLOOD...*** THE NAVY AND THE AIR FORCE.
[15:41] (flyguy1) THE NEW NAVY AND AND THE AIR FORCE ARE COWARDS AND A DISGRACE TO AMERICA...THESE ASSHOLES DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO SHOOT A *** WEAPON...HOW COME THE ARMY AND MARINES KEEP GOING BACK TO IRAQ WHILE THE NAVY AND AIRFORCE FAGGOTS GET TO STAY STATESIDE A...
[15:43] (flyguy1) WHY DONT THEY TRAIN THE NAVY AND AIRFORCE FAGGOTS THE SAME *** THEY TEACH THE ARMY AND MARINES AND SEND THEY *** TO IRAQ INSTEAD OF SENDING THE ARMY AND MARINES TO COMBAT OVER AND OVER

Yep. He actually said that. I'll actually provide the transcript upon request.

Feel free to drop him a line.

I mean, I know there are morons online, but this one probably takes the cake.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I voted, yay

I did! For these people:

US President - Barack Obama/Joe Biden (D)
NC Governor - Pat McCrory (R)
NC Lt. Governor - Walter Dalton (D)
US Senate - Kay Hagan (D)
US House, NC District 8 - Larry Kissel (D)
NC Atty. General - Roy Cooper (D)
NC Auditor - Beth Wood (D)
NC Comm. of Agriculture - Ronnie Ansley (D)
NC Comm. of Insurance - Wayne Goodwin (D)
NC Comm. of Labor - Mary Fant Donnan (D)
NC Secy. of State - Elaine Marshall (D)
NC Superintendent of Public Instruction - June St. Clair Atkinson (D)
NC Treasurer - Janet Cowell (D)
NC State Senate District 37 - Rusty Sheridan (L)
NC House District 100 - Tricha Cotham (D)
Mecklenburg County Comm. At-large - Harold Cogdell, Jr (D), Dan Murray (D), Jennifer Roberts (D)
Mecklenburg County Comm. District 5 - Abstain
Register of Deeds - David Granberry (D)
Soil and Water Conservation District Supervisor - Myself (G)
Parks and Rec Bond - Yes
Street Bond - Yes
Housing Bond - Yes
Neighborhood Improvement Bond - Yes

I'm transparent :)

Monday, November 3, 2008

I think this speaks for itself


Watch live video from Jane? on Justin.tv

I guess I should update.

So, I had what I think was the flu last week. It wasn't great and I could think of a million better ways to spend the week. I won't go in to detail, but parts of the week were not pretty.

I'm better now though, kind of.

Anyway, I played Megaman 9 a lot while I was ill. I got okay at it, I have to stress the okay part because some people are crazy good. Playing it made me think of older Megaman games, notably the title MM9 is based on, that being Megaman 2.

Anyone who has ever played Megaman 2 will remember Woodman. He's one of the more memorable "robot masters" and featured in future games as well. Anyway, I've always thought that Woodman resembled John Daly. Do you agree?



So, the Jane recently (Oct 25th) celebrated her one-year anniversary of lifecasting. She had a fever that day :( but still managed to do something. Jane's a really awesome person once you get to know here, and I'm glad I do :). Oh, watch her make pumpkin seeds here.

And since Jane would want me to include it, watch this:



So, my Meredith Robbins post was quite popular. Apperently she's been swamped by attention recently. I got around 200 hits on that post, which is more than my usual 4. (Hi, Jane, Denis, and Dane).

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Moritz Volz

http://www.volzy.com/

Legend.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I'm telling you Richard Burr is 27

Yep. Twenty-seven. Only 27% of North Carolinans approve of the job he's doing.

Couple this with Liddy Dole being 93rd in effectiveness and Robin Hayes spreading 'em for the GOP everytime they need a controversial bill to pass and it's not hard to figure out why North Carolina doesn't carry much clout around Washington.

North Carolina has some serious problems that need addressing, and without any pull in Washington many of them are likely to continue to be neglected.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fuck the banks, and screw the Democrats and Republicans

You know. People bitch when Greens and Libertarians try to "steal" votes from Democrats and Republicans. It's really starting to piss me off.

We aren't trying to steal your votes, we're trying to save your God damn life.

You see this shit we're in today? You did that, not us. Yet you still bitch about us hanging around. "How dare those lunatics try to get their voice out there? They'll fuck everything up."

Too late, you already did that.

The Democratic President, Bill Clinton, pushed major banks to make sub-prime loans. The Republicans are now using this as a talking point against Democrats without telling you that during the Clinton administration they, the GOP, controlled both houses of Congress (104th, 105th, and 106th Congresses). There's just as much blood on their hands as the Democrats.

Yesterday the Dow surged up 900 points, a major boost and everyone started jacking off. As of this posting it's down 500 points, or 5.46%. This on top of news that the FTSE, Britain's major index, was off a staggering 7% as European fears of a recession mount.

That 900 point gain has been reduced to nothing more than a stop gap, like putting a piece of Juicy Fruit on a crack in a dam.

Now we, the middle and working class tax-payers, the segment of society already financially stretched thinner than myself doing yoga, are on the hook for >$700bln. That's over $23,245 per American. That's what you'll be paying and I'll be paying. You'll be paying that while some reckless, incompetent jackass of a CEO vacations in Hawai'i while you hit up Lake Norman because you can't afford the trip down to South Carolina this year.

Meanwhile, while AIG throws lavish parties on your dime with wine that costs more than that car you're struggling to keep, there's a single mother fighting a war in Iraq in the name of the American elite who want more money from that oil that sits under Baghdad. She prays everyday that she doesn't get shot so one day she can kiss her baby again.

Somewhere in North Carolina a man is going crazy because the banks he just helped bail out adjusted his mortgage and now he can't pay it.

And right now, I'm praying I don't start pissing out blood again, because I can't get insurance.

Seven miles to the west of me is Charlotte's medical district. A baby was just born there. Maybe someone should go over there and tell her what she's worth, tell her she's precious and priceless, and then tell her that you guys think she's worth about as much as a Honda Accord with all the trimmings.

You haven't killed America yet, it's fire still burns. But only because us lunatics protected that tiny ember, and while you're out spending our tax money, we'll still be protecting it, and stoking it. Hoping that one day it'll burn hot enough, and high enough to force you out.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

North Carolina elections 2008

They're really, really bad.

I don't like either of the candidates running for Governor, and I don't know enough about the third (Mike Munger, a Libertarian) to pass judgment on him.

Pat McCrory is largely inoffensive, he doesn't do much at all as Mayor of Charlotte. The arena scandal made a lot of people, including myself, very angry though. I guess you can say he helped develop the area, but at the same time he's held us back in areas such as alternative energy. He does (or did) hold a position at Duke Power which may create a conflict of interest. Charlotte has two Nuclear Power Plants in the area and to be honest they scare the crap out of me.

Bev Perdue has done nothing but attack McCrory which has rubbed me the wrong way. She's gotten really nasty about it and to be honest I may well be tempted to vote McCrory because of it, and I'm a friggin' Green. That's not how we act in North Carolina, Bev, you were raised better than that.

Robin Hayes is up to his typical bullcrap. Hayes helped pass CAFTA and cost North Carolina, and specifically his district (NC 8) lots of jobs. Hayes did this at the urging of Bush and other Republican top brass, his vote passed the bill. That day Hayes showed that his loyalties lie with the Republican Party of the United States, and not the people of North Carolina. I'm voting for Larry Kissel.

The US Senate race is the worst, Kay Hagan (D) and incumbent Elizabeth Dole (R) are acting like ― for lack of a better phrase ― two catty bitches. There's an ad out where Dole's camp metaphorically calls Hagan a bitch (not that Kay has done anything to disprove that theory), and Hagan's ads just throw mud at Dole. Though the DSCC has some hilarious anti-Dole ads out. I hate both of them. Where's Beth Troutman when you need her?

Walter Dalton would be a better Lt. Governor than Robert Pittenger, most people probably don't know anything about this office, heh.

Ugh. This is why we need to let Greens, Libertarians, and Constitutionalists debate with the Democrats and Republicans, what a hot mess this is.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Dear Bruton,

I'm sorry for telling you to fuck off. I have a request for you.

Stop using the commercial-at (that's what this: @ is officially called) so much. Please. I know, at first it looks really cool, but after awhile it becomes very annoying, and I know about annoying.

You got your dragstrip and it's amazing because you have four stadiums now (if you can count this one). But please, just start using "at" instead.

For me? I'll even dress up like that stupid girl running for Vice President if that makes you happy. *Bobby makes puppy dog eyes*

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Megaman 9

Is teh awesome.

I must praise Capcom and Inticreates for the work of pure genius that is Megaman 9.

What a nostalgic, anger-inducing orgasm of a game this is.

10/10.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Breed Specific Legislation is Unamerican.

http://www.hellobully.com/bsl.html

As the owner of a rescued Pit Bull, I felt I should post this.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Watch Jane's vlog



and lifecast: http://www.justin.tv/jane_ds

Seriously, she'll hurt me if you don't.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Most Serene Republic of Deranged Tabby Cats

http://www.nationstates.net/deranged_tabby_cats

Kind of a big deal.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Fuck off, Bruton.

Seriously, go fuck yourself.

I realize how much Bruton Smith and his race track have done for the economy of Cabarrus County. I also realize how much Cabarrus, and indeed Mecklenburg, have bent over backwards to please Bruton and his ego.

I wasn't against his drag strip earlier this year, he has every right to build on land he owns. Afterall, the people in that subdivision did by land near a fucking speedway (three of them actually if you count the dirt track and auxilary oval). What I was against was Bruton asking a country reeling from the loss of it's largest employer, PhillipMorris, for an $80 million incentive package or he would close his speedway, Cabarrus' second largest employer, and move his business elsewhere. The county and the city of Concord buckled to his demands, they had no choice. They offered his business $80 million over 40-years.

That wasn't good enough. Not only has Bruton built his drag strip, but before it's grand opening Bruton has announced that he wants that $80 million over three years, not 40, and if he doesn't get it he's going to start charging interest.

As people in North Carolina know, Concord borders Charlotte. Charlotte is a success story, and Charlotte's wild success is due in large part to the tireless dedication of the Belk family. Indeed, John Belk was once Mayor of Charlotte. The Belk's have donated large sums of money and time to various organizations in Charlotte. No fewer than five stadiums in the metro bare the name of Irwin Belk, a testiment to his passion for the community.

When all the Belk's pass on, Charlotte will mourn their loss with tears, and look back on them with incredible pride. When Bruton dies, Concord will breathe a sigh of relief.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Chai Story

http://thechaistory.blogspot.com/2008/08/chai-story.html

That is heart wrenching :(

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Chad Ocho Cinco

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Ocho_Cinco

Hahaha.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Becky Hammon is not the devil

She isn't.

The flack Becky Hammon has received for playing basketball at the Olympics as a Russian is shocking, disgusting, and incredibly trashy.

Becky Hammon is a highly respected basketball player, she is rated as one of the top guards in the world. More importantly, by all accounts she's a sweet, engaging woman who would never wish harm on anyone. Becky has played in the WNBA for 10-seasons and has never once been approached by the US Women's national basketball team to play a game, not even during minor events such as the Pan-American games. Becky's talent was ignored until she applied for Russian citizenship.

During the offseason Hammon suppliments her rather paltry WNBA salary by playing professionally in Russia for CSKA Moscow, recently Becky signed a $2-million contract with Moscow multi-sport outfit after receiving her Russian passport. This led many self-styled defenders of all things American to label Becky a "whore" who "sold herself" to Russia. Becky did not sell herself to Russia, Becky applied for Russian citizenship to help her club CSKA. In Russia teams are limited by the amount of foreign players they can field, by getting a Russian passport Becky has freed up a "non-Russian" spot on her team's roster, allowing them to bring in another foreign player. Becky did not sell herself to the Russian basketball federation. Becky is not a whore.

One thing the heat Becky has taken for daring to pursue her Olympic dream has led me to ask is where was this heat when Mike Piazza represented Italy at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, or the 2006 World Baseball Classic? If a Pennsylvanian can play for Italy then a South Dakotan can play for Russia. I don't care where Piazza's Grandparents come from, he's as American as Becky Hammon, if Becky is a traitor than so is Piazza. If Becky is a traitor than so are the eighteen American's who represented Greece's baseball team in 2004 (Greece's only baseball stadium has since been converted for soccer use for anyone wondering why baseball won't feature in London 2012).

Moreover, why are we allowed to import athletes but Russia isn't? There's a very famous former American international male basketball player who plays professionally in the same city as Hammon, but his country has their own basketball team.

Hmmm.

"God loves Russia just as much as God loves America.", you couldn't be more right, Becky. God loves everyone, but he doesn't like hatefulness. Think about that.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Finding meaning

In regards to faith, I've always been a bit of a lost sheep. I don't know why, I just never felt like I fit in.

I don't like how my Church (I consider myself a lapsed Baptist, but I'm still Christian) kicks people out often for simply being different, it bothers me. I understand why they do it, but it always seems like they're going after the wrong people. I don't think homosexuals are bad people by birth, they shouldn't be scorned for being the way they are, again, I understand the reasons behind it, but I don't really see how it's rational considering that much worse acts are perpetrated under the banner of the Church. Maybe it's because I'm so liberal about everything.

I've always been a very spiritual person, but I've never been able to understand why I am. Until one day, by chance, Jane spoke to me about her spirituality. She's incredibly admirable in her faith, she attends Church three times a week and is active in other areas as well. I don't think she ever intended to help me, but she ended up doing so. I asked her if I could ask any questions about it when I felt the need to, she said I could, and I have. It's been very helpful to me, I appreciate all she's done with it. It's impossible not to love her once you get to know her well, she's pretty and that helps at first, but it doesn't matter once you find out how genuinely good she is inside.

It's nice that I found someone with similar spiritual beliefs to my own, we disagree on one major point but I look passed it because I know she wants to help me.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Saturday, July 5, 2008

So...

Happy Independence Day, 45 minutes too late, heh. But still.

I didn't see fireworks this year because I'm still in some pain, but that's ok because I need to relax to heal myself. I wish I wasn't so frail, but there isn't much I can do about it other than workout like crazy which my heart won't allow.

I'm really glad that Íngrid Betancourt was rescued in Colombia, along with 14 other hostages. Gosh, that must have been hell for them and their loved ones, but at least they're safe now. Ms. Betancourt is a hero of mine, she's an extremely strong woman to say the very least.

Jake and Smokey (two of my dogs) are doing better. Jake was in shock for a few days, and still kind of is, but he has some of his pep back. That was just a freak accident. In a way I take spraining my toe as a sign that I was supposed to be home to stop that.

I wanted to mention this too, I'm an Arsenal supporter but I'll also be purchasing an Aston Villa shirt this season. The Villans have forgone a £2 million (US$3.96m) shirt sponsorship deal with an internet gambling site in favor of "giving" their sponsorship the the Birmingham-based children's hospice Acorns. I write more about it in my other blog. It's a very, very touching move by Villa and should be applauded.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say. I'm actually rather complex, but I mostly hide my inner most feelings.

Oh, vote for Jane, please :)

Monday, June 30, 2008

Eek

So I hurt my toe on Thursday, then aggravated it helping my dog on Sunday. Two of them got their collars hung together, one couldn't breath so I had to jam my hand, well, finger between them so one could breathe. They're both okay, thank God, but that was scary.

I hurt my back, both arms, and other foot along with aggravating my toe. So, I don't really feel well right now. I'd have been even worse if I'd have lost him though, I'm still fighting the depression thing. I probably will my whole life, but I've had some good days recently. I hope I keep having them.

Other than the pain I'm fine right now, I seriously used all my energy though...

Oh, vote for Janey, she's an angel you know :)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Haha I'm actually happy for once

Yep :) Hopefully I feel this way for awhile.

Janey you are teh r0x0rs :D

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Political Compass

So I was rather bored and I took the political compass test.



That pretty much came out the way I expected, and is probably the reason most people think I'm batshit insane.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

"Bobby, you're wasting your vote."

Am I? Well, everyone says I am. Half want me to vote for McCain (yea, that's happening) and half want me to vote for Obama (he's ok, but I want more). So following the departure of the one major candidate I had chosen to support (Fmr. Sen. John Edwards) I've decided to vote for Kat Swift (G-TX) :).

Upon hearing this I was met with a ton of derision, the whole "It's people like you who ruin this country" line of bull. Doesn't the constitution allow me to vote for whomever I want? Technically Cookie Monster is of age to run for the office of President and I could vote for him if I wanted to (and I did vote for him as a County Commissioner once), plus Kat is cool!



She's a lot like me, a lot. So, go Kat go :)

Oh, and watch Jane's vlogs. She'll disagree with the rest of this post, but she's still totally lovable.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Charley and Gordon


from hepjo


from videohost4

I didn't make either video, I was just pretty touched by both of them. Both cats have Feline Cerebellar Hypoplasia, basically poor motor skills among other things. Animals with CH can manage to lead a relatively normal life but require more care than animals without the disease. Often animals suffering from CH are needlessly destroyed.

This site features information about living with a disabled cat if you're interested in adopting a CH animal.

I have four animals (three dogs and a cat). None have CH but I would love them just as much if they did.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Christian: The Lion At World's End


I know it's a rather old video, but it's still a very powerful story, even the brief clip managed to get to me. It made my day :)

Things like that are why I'm an environmentalist. God didn't create, or ever approve of, money. Kind of like the Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip song.

On a somewhat related note, Today is Endangered Species Day. There will be a lot of events, like in North Carolina there will be an event at the botanical gardens in Chapel Hill and a boating event in Asheville. Nothing in the Charlotte metro though. :(

I'm glad California overturned it's gay marriage ban. I'm not gay, but everyone deserves a chance at happiness and it's not threatening to "the American family" to have two men or two women who love each other get married. I understand how some people can be repulsed by it. Not to mention God twice in the same post, but he wouldn't create something he hates.

Oh, and for the 6 people who read this (I'm big in Huddersfield, apparently), do this please. It's for a good cause no matter what you sign up for, I switched my cause from the environment to Invisible Children because A) Jane supports it, B) I want to help children in Darfur.

Oh well, bye-bye for now.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Yay?

86
Created by OnePlusYou


Ugh, I wish I could type faster, my left hand sucks for that :(

Sunday, May 11, 2008

SocialVibe

Jane wanted everyone to join SocialVibe, so I did.



It's for a good cause, so yay.

Damn

Rennes 2 - 1 Toulouse
Lille 2 - 1 Lens
Paris S.G. 1 - 1 Saint-Etienne

------------------------------
16. Paris S.G. 40
17. Toulouse 39
18. Lens 39
19.
Strasbourg 35
R. Metz 21

I really want PSG to go down.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Stuff I guess

I've had a pretty crappy week, well, everyday since mid-March has pretty much sucked. I don't think a day has passed where I haven't had a sinus headache. This is the main culprit, but I deal with it because it's nice and I like nature. Notice my 2006 Earth Day tree in the foreground? :)

A tornado, or maybe a couple of tornadoes, hit Greensboro yesterday. That sucked. Someone died and part of the town got beat up pretty bad. I quite like Greensboro, it's a really nice town, so it scared me when I heard that.

But despite all that, I'm happy because Jane had an amazing day (which I'm sure she'll write about). She's had a bad run of luck so seeing her smile warms the cockles of my heart :) Heh, I love her too much. But she really deserves only amazing things, such a beautiful person, more so inside than out (as hard as that is to believe), should never have to put up with that much bad luck.

Oh, I do actually write in this blog. Heh. And I have to thank Anders for showing me this beautiful ad on youtube.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Gas Prices in Charlotte

Lowest 15 (avg. price $3.51):
1 BP
0 Shell
0 Exxon
14 Others

Highest 15 (avg. price $3.64):
5 BP
5 Shell
3 Exxon
2 Others

I'm just saying.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Massive, massive headache

Which, for now at least, is gone. That was fucking insane, it got worse when I laid down. So around midnight (after two rather sleepless) hours I decided to sit outside where the air was cooler but my headache just got worse because the neighbor's dog would NOT stop barking.

But, I'm better now. Though my pillows are soaked because of the rag I used on my head, my bedside trashcan is full of tissue, and it's 5:19 A.M. (I woke up at 4:30) which means I'll be dead tired by 3 P.M.. Lovely.

I hate April and May because they make me seem like a sicknote (which I am, but more so).

Friday, April 25, 2008

Arbor Day...what should I do?

I planted two trees on Tuesday, I don't guess planting another one would hurt, I do have an open spot in my backyard. Tomorrow it's supposed to be 81° F (22° C) and clear tomorrow, so the weather will be good for it, I guess I will.

I ran today for the first time in a week, it was the first day I've had any energy since my kidney stone issues started. So, I guess I'm pretty well recovered. I do have a sore throat from allergies though, but I have some Tazo African Red Bush Tea that Jane sent me, it's really good and works quite well. She also sent me a picture she drew me (that I use as my Twitter icon) back in December, it's an inside joke between us, but I was touched that she sent it to me, it made me smile. :) (It was sent awhile ago but I figured I should blog about it, maybe I'm simple, but since it came from her it was amazing to me.)

Heh, I think I get more scared of tornadoes in Texas than Jane does! I think I have a strong enough heart to get through their tornado season, maybe :O

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Earth Day, Jane, and Me

So today was Earth Day. I consider myself an environmentalist, though I could do much better than I do. Anyway, I planted two trees, one Southern Live Oak and one Sugar Maple. I'm not so sure how the latter will do, you don't see a lot of them around here, but I'm confident the Oak will take well and someday be a great big tree for someone to enjoy. The tree is also somewhat of a Southern tradition, you see them in big cities like Charleston, New Orleans, and of course Charlotte.

Last week I asked Jane if she had ever considered becoming a songwriter. I told her I thought she'd be good at it, she has a really deep passion for music, sings very well, plays three instruments and used to write poetry (and having read some of her poems I can confirm she's quite good at that too). She's very intelligent and has a lion's heart so I'm sure she'll be successful at it. Heh, if you couldn't tell, I'm quite fond of Janeybean! :)

My kidney stone hell seems to be over, thankfully. I'm still hurting some, but I'm doing a lot better. I'm going to try to change my diet some, hopefully that'll bring about some change.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Oh. My. God.

This post might be a bit graphic.

Ok, so I'm a 23-year-old American male and I'm uninsurable. I stand 6-feet-7-inches tall (203cm), weigh 155 pounds (70 kg/11 stone) and my Body Mass Index is around 16.9, which is (obviously) incredibly low. Because of my size it was thought at one time that I suffered from a potentially fatal connectivity disorder called Marfans Syndrome, which US President Abraham Lincoln suffered from. Basically everything is elongated, including the aorta. Due to the elongation, everything, including the aorta, could potentially tear. This is why I can't get private insurance, because despite being cleared of malignant Marfans, I'm now seen as a liability.

Unfortunately, I'm also very prone to kidney stones, something which I inherited from my mother. Despite my rather young age, I've dealt with them on several occasions, including this weekend. On Thursday morning I woke up with a feeling which I can only describe as "having a nail in my kidney", I knew what it was right away, but I was not ready for what happened. I went through Thursday and Friday limping around, I tried to sit as much as possible, and got through the days ok. On Saturday morning at roughly 10:30 AM EDT I passed my kidney stone, or so I thought. Hours later the pain returned, and on Sunday morning I passed another, smaller but sharper, stone, but the pain was still there, oh boy! Around an hour-and-a-half ago I passed a third stone, another small one, but as you can imagine, by this point my cock feels like Officer Alex J. Murphy from the opening scene of "RoboCop" and I STILL had pain. Roughly 20 minutes ago I passed the fourth, and largest stone. Luckly, and hopefully, this seems like the last.

I may be whining here, and I think I deserve to, but for all the money this country spends on crap you'd think I'd be able to go to a doctor and get this taken care of instead of spending my weekend pissing out what seemed to be a pint of blood, two stones THE SIZE OF FUCKING LEMON SEEDS, and two shards of them...FUCK THIS SHIT!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Janeiac

JAYN·I·AC
n.
1. A person who has an excessive enthusiasm or desire for jane_ds.
See also: Bobby

Heh. I'm bored, and weird. :(

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Heh.

Now I can't decide whether that's being incredibly resourceful or being unspeakably revolting....ahhh. Such is the enigma that we've come to know as Bobby, man....he's either some sort of a divine being who we should all worship and learn from, or an irredeemable reprobate who should be executed publicly at the local town hall swiftly!

-Yoss.

Haha, quality.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Limping around, and a lot of people hate me

I hurt my knee last week, I'm still limping. It's just red now, it was blue with speckles of dried blood in it until Tuesday, that was weird. The worst part is that it's over the bone rather than a muscle so there was nothing to absorb the impact. But oh well, that's life I guess and complaining won't make it any better.

It's also kind of funny how many people automatically hate me. Heightism maybe? That'd explain the random people who hate me in person but not the ones who hate me online, heh. It's as much an obsession as love though.

I don't know why I feel they need to write about it, but Jerry Reese...Charlotte cannot support a Major League Baseball team. We don't even support our NFL team unless they're winning. Get over it and stop blocking the Knights from getting a stadium. People want the stadium because they can take the entire family out to a game and not have to mortgage the house in the process. No, the International League doesn't have the glamor of the Major Leagues, no one ever claimed it did, but it's a better deal for Charlotte in the long run.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Bobby + Caffeine = Very Strange

Today I had a cinnamon dolce iced coffee from Starbucks at the suggestion of "Jam Jam". I'm pretty much naturally wired as is, but caffeine (obviously) takes me to another level. I think everyone at Food Lion thought I was on crack because my eyes were opened so wide and I was really, really jumpy. It was so worth it though, it tasted like I was drinking a cinnamon bun. It even tasted good with soy milk (I'm lactose intolerant). I am so getting another one. I have to call the comment line tomorrow and tell them Janeybean suggested it, hopefully she gets some credit for being such a good ambassador for her employer.

I didn't go to Church today, despite it being Easter Sunday. I don't really think I'm welcome at my Grandparents' Church anyway as I get a lot of strange looks there. From my understanding one of the cornerstones of Christianity has always been acceptance, but it seems that's really drifted away from modern Churches. Technically I'm Southern Baptist, but I guess I have to go with what Jane told me today, just because the rest of my blood is one doesn't mean I am. It doesn't really go along with my Egalitarian beliefs anyway. I am Christian, I just don't like how a lot of Churches are becoming 527 groups.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Wisdom teeth, Gretna, and the most obvious thing ever

So, my top right wisdom tooth is finally deciding to break in. Perfect timing considering I'm also suffering from a cold, so karma has once again decided to make me it's personal bitch and double my torture. Thanks, Karma, I totally <3 you.

I wrote in my wordpress blog about shitstorm that is Gretna FC. No one will care, no one even reads this blog. But oh well.

I should be getting my Certified Janeiac shirt in a few days. As if anyone needed confirmation I was a Janeiac, hell, if there's a level above Janeiac, I'm above that level.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

This is your fault Jonas Brothers



I hate you Jonas Brothers fans, I HATE you! This act cannot go unpunished.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Oh Fox News

It's a magic weed, give me a little bit to taste, to dream of my FNC and shout until God: My Fox News, I love you, like heroin, like a hard drug, like hashish, lsd, for you my FNC the whole world is stoned, the whole world. My Fox News, My Fox News, I love you, I love you, wherever you may play I will always follow you, I follow you, FNC here, FNC here, FNC there, FNC there, wherever you may play we will always be together, always together.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Not fun...

Saw someone I was hoping I'd never see again today. My ex, the one who psychologically tortured me and when it was over I was left depressed and hopeless.

I won't really get in to all she did other than if psychological assault were a crime she'd be jailed for life. From yelling at me, randomly hitting me and constantly reminding me that I was a failure that would never do any better than her so I was better off just sucking it up and accepting it. Thankfully a friend of mine noticed what she was doing and pulled me out of it. I used to cry myself to sleep until I met and started dreaming of someone. Heh, pretty obvious who that is. *Bobby blushes* Even if I never have a chance with her, the simple idea of her has been enough to pull me out of the hell I was in. At least I feel human again.

I was playing with a soccer ball in my backyard today and my hip flared up again, that's just lovely. I hope it's just a knock and nothing is seriously wrong with it because I'm uninsurable and that would suck pretty hard.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I have a really huge bladder

The average human bladder holds roughly 600cc of urine, or around 20 fluid oz. My bladder holds 1 quart, 5 oz of urine.

TMI.

Monday, March 10, 2008

So....

I played a DOS game called Crystal Caves, after Jane suggested it (I do anything Jane says, heh), and I am NOT good at it. I've never really been good at playing games involving the keyboard (I completely suck at first-person shooters) and I can't figure out how to make my controller work for DOS, or if it's even compatible with DOS in the first place. Anyway, I couldn't even beat the first level, I got killed by something which resembled a millipede.

I'll probably enjoy it once I learn to play it, it brought a massive smile to her face, which in turn brought one to mine. :) I love it when she's happy.

I'm still looking for direction though. My friend suggested I become a, heh, wedding consultant. Strangely, it seems like something I'd be good at. It would be like pouring a bucket of gasoline on the whole "Bobby is a big gayer" fire though. I guess I invite it upon myself by being different though, but I like being different, only dead fish go with the flow.

I saw 10,000 BC last week. It was good, one of the better movies I've seen in awhile (I don't watch many movies at all, I was forced into watching "Barbershop" which is what this movie is standing against). I won't review it though as that's not my forte.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

"Will Bobby get a sex change?" poll results

  • This Year - 12.50%
  • 2-5 Years - 12.50%
  • 6-10 Years - Nil
  • 11-20 Years - Nil
  • Never - 31.25%
  • Bobby's a guy? - 43.75%

Yes, I am a guy. Here are some of the comments:

Bobby's tall and skinny so he should have a huge penis. Thus, he'll most likely not get the sex change and take up a career in porn where he ravages girls while remaining extremely uninterested in the whole process.
Now that was pleasant, Rony.

I think Bobby will get a sex change around the same time Denis gets sent to prison. It will be a direct race to see who will be the first to lose their anal virginity.
Cheers, Calumn.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I took more pictures of abandoned stuff.

Yay.

I was in Huntersville today, I have no earthly idea why, and took some pictures of an abandoned motel on Statesville Road (opens to my Flickr map). I would have taken more but I heard people moving around in there and I'm skinny so I wasn't about to take my chances.

I can't tell you WHY I like abandoned stuff because I don't know that answer to that myself. I guess it's just one of my weird idiosyncrasies.

I also went to Alexandriana (it means "defender of man", for the zero people who care), the place where Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence was allegedly signed. Kind of interesting, there is no proof it was an actual document, but as a native Mecklenburger I feel it my duty to say there is no proof that it wasn't an actual document.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

"Why the hell do you support Ōmiya Ardija?"

Because I should. I support Ōmiya because their fans, however small in number, remain unflinchingly loyal on a highly romantic level. Despite the glitz, glamor, fame, and fortune of cross-town rivals Urawa Reds, Omiya fans remain fiercely loyal to their beloved Squirrels.

I immediately feel in love with Ardija (a play on the Spanish word 'ardilla', meaning 'Squirrel') when I started following the J. League in late 2004. Upon researching the teams I found the incredibly passionate support of the giant Red Diamonds (named for Mitsubishi motor company, Urawa's original parent company) to be strikingly attractive, but I found the ardent loyalty and passion behind the much smaller Ōmiya to be incredibly intriguing. The nickname is obviously not intended to strike fear in the hearts of their opponents, but to symbolize harmony with the team's hometown of Ōmiya-ku (formerly Ōmiya City before being merged with Urawa and Yono to become Saitama City.) whose symbol is the Squirrel - All of this is explained in great detail by Furtho in his beautifully written three-part series, "Love, Revolution and Architecture: a Year in the Life of the Squirrel Nation", at Pitch Invasion. - Upon seeing how much Omiya fans loved their tiny yet scrappy club I had to become an Omiya fan.

I don't know why I posted this, heh.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Eduardo :(

Eduardo da Silva's broken leg is one of the nastiest things I've ever seen. I'm an Arsenal supporter but I don't think Martin Taylor intended any malice with his tackle. It was stupid, yes, but he's not a dirty player.

I almost threw up when I saw the pictures. It was just, yikes.

I made Jane a banner for her lifecasting page (vote for Jane) tonight. It's different, but I'm different. I used the picture from her blog profile because it's just SO adorable. She'll probably be upset at me for saying this publicly, but I don't think there's a more beautiful woman in the world :), heh, I said I'd cool off with that, but saying anything else would be a lie!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Story Time with Janey

Heh, yea. Jane read a story to her viewers. She read "The Emperor's New Clothes" and even created a slide show to go along with it. I personally thought it was very heartfelt and sincere, those 25 minutes were definitely the highlight of my week. So Jane, thank you, it brought a smile to my face and I'm sure to others. Anytime you want to do it again, I'll be sure to watch you. :)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Wow, looking for a job sucks

I'm too idealistic to find a job. I'm too idealistic to find anything for that matter. My morals always get in the way. I saw an ad for a production assistant for a local morning show and didn't even bother applying because I was sure I'd be turned down, and thinking that made me depressed again. I've been told by people (ok, a person) I care deeply about that I need to stop beating myself up, and I try...I swear I try but I always end up thinking about how useless I am again. I'm sorry if I constantly let you down by doing this to myself, I really am, you know upsetting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do.

I'm starting to think I'll never find anything. Not only am I strange but I get a lot of stares because of heightism everytime I apply for a job, not only that but I'm underweight and for some reason being skinny (whether or not you want to be) has become a crime. Yay for lesser known forms of discrimination! The heightism one (short people get it too) is actually as bad as racism since like your race, you didn't choose your height.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Feeling a little better

I'm still cold, but I'm always cold, comes with the territory of being thin I guess. I don't feel like I need to throw up anymore, the abdomen pains have died down and I'm not "spaghetti legged" anymore (well, not in the figurative sense anyway).

I went with my dad to Shuffletown, Charlotte (yea, I'm a massive map geek) yesterday and took some pictures (ok, he took them) of the dragstrip which is on the docket for redevelopment into either football & soccer fields or starter homes. It was closed awhile ago because neighbors complained about the noise, even though it existed before their houses did. It's a bit like moving across from a bar and being surprised when drunks stumble around outside. Anyway, I may upload the pictures to flickr later if I have a notion to.

Piratedninja (also in Charlotte) said we're getting a lunar eclipse tonight, I'll take a picture if I'm in/not completely lazy.

I now have a JTV channel ("Bobby, Interrupted", aren't I clever?!) which I won't use while I live her as privacy is at a premium.

I watched Jane's lifecast today, big shock I'm sure. She just never ceases to amaze me. She's so smart, so beautiful, so kind...heh, I'm doing it again. Janey, you're perfect, deal with it :P In honor of you I shall tag the hell out of this post.

Anyway, I'm going to see Vantage Point tonight since my dad got preview tickets. I'm not really a huge movie fan, but it's free, and they'll call me a recluse if I stay in. So, I'm going

Monday, February 18, 2008

If this keeps up I'm seeing a doctor

I ran a WebMD Symptom Checker (not a good idea in hindsight as I'm a hypochondriac). Anyway, after plugging in my symptoms it returned some possible results (I realize it's just an online program and if it keeps up I should consult a real doctor, and I will), they were: Influenza, depression, viral syndrome, hyperthyroidism, generalized anxiety disorder, heart rhythm disorder, heat exhaustion, tuberculosis, anemia, acute stress reaction, sleep deprivation, chronic fatigue, thalassemia (this one scares the hell out of me), hypopituitarism, mono (that's flattering), diabetes (eek), and hypotension.

Now depression I know I have, and I understand it can cause you to be really screwed up. With my luck I'll live until 100 and be depressed the whole time. Nothing, nothing seems to fall for me.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Bah

I tested my body fat today, I'm 5.00% body fat, I have 7.54 pounds (3.4 kg) of fat, and my lean body weight is 143.44 pounds (65), so with the body fat I'm 151 (68), shockingly low when you consider I'm 6-foot-7 (203 cm). No idea why I added the metric, not like I get any readers. Of course, I am ectomorphic so I shouldn't be too disappointed by my results, but I want to weigh more. I started a food journal (use firefox as I'm unsure about linking commercial sites), but I think that's more for people who want to lose weight. It sounds weird, but it's hard to gain weight in America since everything is so (understandably) geared toward weight loss.

I'm still kind of sick, my body temperature has been around 97°F (36°C) today, I've been carrying a blanket with me :(. Hopefully this is all one big bug and I won't need to see a doctor, the doctor kind of scares me, I'm a huge wuss.

Jane couldn't get online today, which sucks, I missed the hell out of her. She hates it when I get personal on here, I can't really say I blame her, it is odd. I'm just so taken by her, taken by her kindness, her talent, her beauty...what a wonderful woman she is. I can't even think about her without looking to the air and sighing. Heh, awkward. I'm sorry Jane, sometimes I just overflow and can't help it, but you know how awesome I think you are.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

My e-married name

Usual western naming convention has the wife either take the husband's last name, or tack it onto her last name. But Korean naming convention uses no change at all (Jane is half Korean). But, an e-marriage isn't really conventional. So I took the end of Jane's username (jane_ds) and tacked it onto the end of mine (bobby3) making me Bobby3-_ds. Basically because Jane is the Queen of Queens and I'm just Princess B, so she wins. Haha, wow, I'm a dork, plus double-barreling sounds posh.

Yea, I'm really bored.

Friday, February 15, 2008

I'm tired

Probably because I used my energy recovering from being sick yesterday. I don't know what it was but that sucked hard. I'm glad it's over.

My grandmother decided to talk down to me today, I didn't really need that with all I've been going through lately (ok, the last 2 years). It took a lot to keep from yelling, I know I sound like a jerk for saying that, but she really didn't need to do it and it really upset me.

Jane wrote about me in her blog, :) I know I treat every little thing she does like it's the moon landing all over again, but it's only because she deserves it. Janey, you're the most wonderful woman I know, seeing your smile fills me with a happiness I had forgotten I could achive...you're talented, almost too beautiful to be human, and most importantly you have a heart of gold. I know all your dreams will one day come true because no one deserves them to more than you. Thank you, you're the best.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I'm sick

It finally got to me. :(

I've had sniffles all week but I've been sucking it back in instead of blowing it out. I only have myself to blame really. My stomach feels a lot better than it did when I woke up this morning, I felt like I had been filled with glass shards. I've actually been limping around because of it. Lots of people I know have been sick this week, come to think of it lots of people I know have been sick a lot this winter. I can help the people I know, which makes me feel good, but all I can do with Jane is tell her to go to the doctor, and go to bed over and over again and I probably end up sounding like a jerk, which sucks. At least she's a bit more lively now, she was terrible Saturday through Monday, so one of us will have a good Valentine's Day. Though to be honest mine was complete when she smiled because of something I sent her, her smile is nothing short of astonishing. But she understands how I feel about her, I have no need to express it on here so often, I'm just so proud of her is all. Haha, sorry Janey :)

I haven't updated my blog enough. I do write in my diary almost everyday, sometimes twice a day. I usually write more personal stuff in there, stuff that probably shouldn't be aired publicly that I need to get out of my heart. I usually fill the front and back of one sheet of notebook paper, and the front of another everyday. Which is strange when you consider how drab and uneventful my life is. I think my depression has caused me to develop anorexia (not to be confused with anorexia nervosa, something the media constantly does). Basically anorexia is an involuntary decreased appetite, people who have it don't seem to get hungry, like I don't. I am reminding myself to eat though, but if worst comes to worst I'll see a doctor about it.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

More pictures of crap around Charlotte, and stuff about other stuff

I took more pictures of (quasi) abandoned stuff today. I don't really understand my attraction to abandonment. Maybe because I myself feel somewhat abandoned even though people do care about me, which makes it a really odd way to feel. That stadium in Winterfield is in really bad shape, I actually had no idea it existed until today. Surely it doesn't belong to the neighboring elementary school? Eastland Mall really needs no introduction, it should be torn down and redeveloped. I remember when you couldn't find a parking spot there on a friday night or weekend, now it's more empty asphalt than mall.

Everyone seems to be getting sick, which means when midweek or the weekend rolls around I'll be sick. I'm always the last one to be sick. My precious Janey (ok, she's not MINE, only in my wildest dreams, I just have to settle for being the e-Mr. Jane) is still sick. Hopefully she'll be better soon, I hate it when she's sick because she doesn't deserve it and I can't do anything about it, though I wish I could tend to her, so it makes me feel as if my hands are bound. I actually admire how tough she is, I get floored by the littlest stuff yet she keeps going through some things that would hospitalize my weak self. Jane, I bow to thee.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

McDonald's Iced Coffee isn't good

A lot of people say it's good, but I didn't really like it. I'll be the first to admit, I don't have the most educated palette in the world, but I do know when something isn't very good, and that wasn't very good.

I went to western Mecklenburg, and then to Gaston County today. It's still somewhat undeveloped landscape really does stand in stark contrast to South Charlotte's recent boom and East Charlotte's urban decay. I'm sure that'll change soon, for better or worse I'm not sure. It is good to have some open land.

Jane is sick though, and that makes me sad. If you couldn't tell, that gorgeous, incredible, talented woman is rather important to me, so I hope she gets better. I made her a card, it wasn't much but hopefully it makes her crack a smile.

Friday, February 8, 2008

I'm bored

I'm bored and I don't want to fill up the car to go somewhere. I calculated that in 2000 it would have cost $16.92 to fill the tank, and today it costs $55.62, more than 3 times higher. Obscene. I know, in Europe it costs more but at least that money goes to infrastructure improvment, Charlotte has roads that feel like you're driving on a bombing range (yes, Monroe Road between Rama Road and East Meck High School, I mean you).

I was bored last night too and decided to watch a movie, I watched Ocean's Eleven at Jane's suggestion and really enjoyed it. I also confused her by posting about it on twitter and due to a bug in the system you don't see all your friend's twitter messages so she just thought I was randomly complimenting her again, which, admittedly, I'm prone to doing.

I'll find something to do I guess, there's only so many abandoned buildings in Charlotte I can photograph. (Sidenote: I'm too tall to get in that parking deck without ducking really far.)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Charlotte's decaying Eastside

Eastland is Charlotte's forgotten neighborhood. Though it's near neighbors Plaza-Midwood and Elizabeth enjoy skyrocketing property values and seemingly unending investment, Eastland is left to rot. Nowhere is this more painfully evident than the Amity Gardens - Coliseum Center shopping complex on Independence Boulevard (I realize it's officially in Sheffield Park). I read a story in yesterday's newspaper about how Eastside residents, of which I am one, are beginning to lose patience with the city's empty promises of redevelopment for the area. I took some pictures of the shopping center this afternoon, admittedly they aren't very good but they get the point across. I'm barely old enough to remember when the shopping center still had life, when you could have a sandwich at the lunch counter in the Eckard's and then go to K-Mart. That ended when K-Mart declared bankruptcy, dealing a crippling blow to the area.

There was talk of a transit center, similar to the one uptown, and later talk of a new shopping center anchored by a Wal-Mart supercenter, none of which have come to anything. In part because the land is toxic, and in part because Harbor Fright Tools won't sell it's lease to the city. I'd personally run a light rail line over what is now the sparingly used HOV lane. Though that may be infeasible.

Whatever the outcome, something needs to happen because it's becoming a magnet for crime.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Sapporo Snow Festival, Lent

I want to go to the Sapporo Snow Festival in Japan. It looks really cool, those snow sculptures are incredible works of art. Before reading about that all I knew about Sapporo was that it was really cold and has a truly incredible stadium. I feel a bit ignorant not knowing more about it since I like to think of myself as well versed in cultural geography. Turns out Sapporo is actually three times bigger than my fair city. Hmm, maybe I'll get to go one year.

Lent starts tomorrow, I've decided I'm going to give up junk food. Eating all this processed garbage can't be good for my mood so who knows? Maybe it'll make me happier. That'd be awesome.

Yea, can't think of anything else to write.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Confused and depressed

I don't know what I'm going through, but I really don't like it. I have depression and it's causing me to get sick because I don't know how I can stop it. I often sit and think about what I should do with myself but I can never figure out anything I'm good at and I usually just end up feeling worse because of that. I feel like the only thing I'm good at is being a complement to another person's life, but as much as I search I can never find that person. It's like I'm a bow without an arrow, or fuel without a rocket. So much of my life has been spent rebuilding myself after falling apart from crashing back into earth, I just wonder how many more times I can do that. What makes it especially hard is that I don't want to risk dragging anyone down with me so I don't seek relationships, and when I do I approach them cautiously and attempt to build a pedestal for the object of my affection rather than hold them up in my hands so that when I fall they remain unaffected. Hurting people I love is my greatest fear. It's an unhealthy, self-sacrificial way of approaching life and I need to change it but I don't know how. I have no way to channel my energy, I have no one I belong to though I want nothing more. All I want, and all I require is a spiritual connection with someone. But because of today's society that mode of thinking is viewed as "weird" and "psychotic". That's the problem with idealism, I want to make everything perfect for the other person and most of the time end up building a castle when a barn would have sufficed.

Since I haven't much in the way of intelligence I rely on my imagination to solve problems and often end up creating fantasy solutions to those problems rather than solving them. While it does grant me a temporary exile from my problems it simply allows my problems to run unrestrained and make my life worse. I'd like to be able to change that but I'm not brave enough which is why I use my fantasies as a crutch.

I don't want to resort to medicine because I stopped breathing last time I took a prescription drug (as a 12-year-old I was a trialist for Imitrix), and psychological treatment is very expensive. I'm not one to emote publicly, though recently it's becoming harder and harder for me to hide what I'm feeling inside since it's taking a toll on me physically. It's hard for me to verbally communicate what I'm going though as well since I've always been more of a listener and a thinker than a speaker.

The people around me have been good to me, probably better than I deserve and are probably the only reason I'm still here. I would never kill myself, thankfully the good part of living through my heart is that it's greedy and wants to live. But I may have ended up in a psychiatric ward due to a breakdown had they not been so gentle with me.

There's a light somewhere, and somewhere there's someone and something for me. I just have to find it and that may take awhile.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

I forgot about the Super Bowl

This is actually the first year I've done so, maybe because I don't have cable anymore (colossal waste of money these days) and don't have ESPN bombarding me with "OH EM GEE IT'S ALMOST HERE [frenzy]!!!". Basically I guess it's much more a social event than a sporting event (though don't get me wrong, I appreciate the athletic endeavor of the game itself). I'm teetotal (My reasons for being teetotal are personal.) and more or less an extreme introvert so I have no interest in alcohol or partying. I have nothing against people drinking (Until someone makes a fool of themselves, like a cousin of mine does and we always have to get him out of trouble. To me a drunk person isn't funny, it's sad.) or people going to parties, I just don't like them forced upon me. Also being a Southerner I have no real interest in either team. I'll watch the game but I probably won't do anything else.

Yes, it does get quite lonely in my ivory tower. It actually seems like more of a burning tree house sometimes.

On a less self-absorbed note I hope Jane gets better. I'm sad when she's not well.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Apperently we're miserable people

Well, according to Forbes anyway. Pat McCrory thinks Forbes needs drug testing, it's the second time I've ever agreed with McCrory. Forbes cites Charlotte as the most violent city on their list, what they don't tell you is that they used old statistics when a newer batch were readily available. But of course finding the newer statistics would have required actual research, something which Forbes isn't very good at. Forbes also skews numbers by using percentages to compare numbers from a much smaller Charlotte of 1990 (pop. 395,934) to a much larger Charlotte of 2008 (pop. ~700,000). Despite them printing this tripe Charlotte continues to post gains in employment year after year despite rising gas prices and a struggling national economy poisoned by their precious right-wing economic policies. It's not like those high taxes are being spent on new police to keep down that seemingly phantom crime rate. Oh wait, they are.

Among other factors to determine misery levels for a town they couldn't point out on a giant print map was weather. Charlotte is no stranger to 60 degree days in winter. That's probably why the Forbes article neglected to mention weather in Charlotte's paragraph.

The fact that Charlotte was one of three (along with Seattle and Portland) American cities to experience growth during the housing crash didn't factor into the "research" either.

I agree with Castro, they need a bucket on their heads.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Britney Spears, other stuff

Britney Spears is really, really sick. I don't want to sound like Chris Crocker, but I hope the paparazzi are proud, you've almost killed this woman. While she isn't the most pleasant person in the world and brings a lot of it upon herself by showing up in areas where she can (and will) be photographed it's been blindingly obvious for some time that she has a serious psychological disorder. Bipolar people are at extremely high risk for suicide and their situations should be handled with extreme caution. If she kills herself, that's blood on the paparazzi's hands.

It's supposed to rain hard tonight, it probably won't be too cold, but it MIGHT be. I'm just saying....

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

John Edwards, headaches, and windy days

John Edwards ended his bid for the Presidency today. I've never really been political although I vote every year for every office (because it gives me the right to complain, and I like to complain) but after seeing the story of James Lowe, a Virginia coal miner who spent 50 years of his life unable to speak because he couldn't afford treatment for a medical problem I got hooked on Edwards' message of ending poverty, as much of an impossible dream as it may be I like chasing impossible dreams. They give me hope, and hope gives me a reason to live. I hope that the remaining candidates will carry that torch. Thanks, John & Elizabeth.

Yesterday I had the worst headache. More than likely because of been sick with a cold since Saturday. I went to bed at 8:30 and it felt like I was sleeping on a rock even though I have a feather pillow. I never want that to happen again.

It was apparently windy enough to nearly blow Jane over (read: windy enough to blow me over) in Texas yesterday. It seems that's on the way to North Carolina, yikes. :(

Monday, January 28, 2008

My personality test...

Like I blogged last night I took a personality test and came back an INFP, or Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving. This type makes up only 1% of the world's population. Even though it was an online test it pretty much described me to a tee.

Positive personal traits of an INFP that I have are that i'm creative, artistic, spiritual, deeply caring, highly passionate, empathy, I'm egalitarian, and like to think of myself as a good friend. I'm somewhat deep, I wouldn't necessarily call myself intelligent though.

Unfortunately I'm also very reserved and keep to myself, easily offended by criticism, somewhat eccentric, hate having my personal space invaded, very overbearing, a slave to my emotions and very hard on myself.

Relationship wise see here, that's very much me. Basically I see myself as a bow to a potential mate's arrow.

Apperently writing would be a good career for me but I'm dyslexic and don't have the greatest command of English so I'm not entirely sure about that. I certainly couldn't be a teacher, that's too demanding. Who knows.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

I think my sinuses are tennis balls...

Yea, it feels like I have a pair of tennis balls lodged in my head. I knew it was coming so I wasn't totally blindsided, a friend of mine had it and I knew I'd get it from being around them last week (I always do).

I went to CVS to get some medicine, Advil Cold & Sinus, and had to sign a contract because it contains pseudoephedrine which can obviously be used to make crystal meth which is considered a weapon of mass destruction in North Carolina. Some people think that's overkill, but I'm fine with it, meth labs can blow up and take out neighboring houses.

I haven't taken the medicine yet because the label freaked me out (there's a hidden page of warnings you can't see until you buy it) by saying do not take if you have a history of kidney problems, which I do. Nonetheless a lot of sleep should make me feel better.

My personality test lists me as an INFP. "Their tranquil, reserved exterior masks a passionate inner life: Healers care deeply about causes that interest them, and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion." That sounds a lot like me, heh. Jane would probably agree, she said hospitality is my best feature. Though I realize I can be shockingly overbearing at times, people have told me that in the past, heh. I actually was listed 100% Feeling, 0% Thinking which is entirely true, I'm incredibly emotional and definitely a prisoner to my heart.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

New beginnings?

My stunningly beautiful e-wife Jane is leaving her job today. I guess that's akin to graduating high school in a way. While (most people) are glad to get out of what they consider to be a stressful environment at the same time you're losing daily contact with people you've grown to like and respect, which is hard. I went to school with the same core group of people for 13 years, I hated school, but leaving them behind was hard. The good thing is that we live in an age where you can contact a person simply by picking up a phone or pressing 'send'.

At any rate, I wish her good luck. I've only known her for 3 months, but we speak to one another a lot, well, that's an understatement, we speak more than most married couples. And from what I've learned I can genuinely say she's a kind, goodhearted, talented, and not to mention drop dead gorgeous individual who deserves only good things.

My new beginning starts when I find out what I was put on this earth to do. I'm a very affectionate person, and I love animals so maybe I'll try to become a zoologist. It's something I flirted with in my teen years but never chased. I'm also trying to gain weight, I'm very skinny. My goal weight is 170, I realize that's still shockingly low (my current weight is a frail 158.5 lbs) for a man of my height but I have a very high metabolism and can't see myself maintaining a much higher weight. Oh well, it's like I told Jane. We can only be who we are.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

We need heated roads

Why can't Charlotte do this? God knows we have enough sunlight, it's basically the only thing we have an excess of besides children named Conner. We need to start doing things ourselves anyway because the capital won't give us any funds.

Stanly County had 75 (yes, seventy-five) car accidents in a 90 minute period this morning. Stanly County had more wrecks than Mecklenburg County has ambulances. That could easily be Charlotte because people here think they're driving for Richard Childress every time they get behind the wheel of a car. I know, I'm one of them.

"Where will we get the money for this insanity?" you ask. That's simple, it will eventually pay for itself because the water can be used to heat buildings and it cuts down on road maintenance, most of Charlotte's roads are due to be fixed soon anyway (has anyone driven the outside lane of Monroe Road between Rama Road and East Meck High lately? Yeah.). Of course this will probably piss Duke Power off, but Duke Power has to live like everyone else and evolve or die.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Depression is not a fun place...

I'm sorry to anyone mentioned in this post who may be bothered by their inclusion, you all know I would never intentionally cause you any sort of discomfort...

I have clinical depression yet I can't tell anyone because I have trouble conveying my thoughts into physical words. I'm the type of person who could write a book but I use body gestures to express my thoughts to avoid speaking to people. Even simple things such as nodding my head instead of saying a simple "yes, please". Because of this people see me as cold and rude, things I never wanted to be seen as. I've been called an "emo" by people close to me, which hurts, even though it's not true because I never chose to be this way, certain things happened to me which made me this way. I don't enjoy anything anymore, I rarely smile and laugh even less. I get headaches, backaches and the weight seems to be melting off of my already willowy 6 foot 7 inch frame.

I'm teetotal so I won't look to alcohol to solve my problems. Being teetotal may be the only thing keeping me somewhat sane as it gives me something to live up to. I guess I view personal issues as a yard weed and alcohol as dirt. You can keep covering the weed with dirt but you aren't getting rid of it, you're only feeding it's root system and making it bigger, what happens when the day comes that your body can't haul enough dirt to cover it? Having had a mini breakdown I don't know if I could survive hitting rock bottom so I'd rather not test my luck. Heh, I never claimed to be a philosopher.

I need somewhere to point myself, somewhere to focus my energy into something positive. I recently freed myself (with the help of two amazing people) from a fantasy I was living in. Upon cutting the binds of that fantasy I felt overcome by a strange since of freedom, yet I feel lost. I want one of the people to know that you didn't hurt me, you've never caused me any harm, your friendship is a blessing to me and if you're feeling down over this don't. You're exceptional and I never, ever want you to forget that.

I hear flax seed can help you gain weight and it helps with depression. I'll talk to a doctor first though.

Yea...I feel a little better now.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Snow

Actual snow and not ice this time, I took two crappy pictures of it.

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As you can see my drought afflicted yard needs any kind of moisture.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Uptown Knights Stadium

The City said ok to a new uptown baseball stadium for the Knights in Third Ward which has been designed to seat 10,000. Info/Renders here.

This should have been done years ago but the plan has been blocked by a "concerned taxpayer" who just so happens to want to buy a Major League team. That would be peachy if Charlotte could support it's current teams but it can barely do that. The Panthers, easily the the popular of the Charlotte teams, often struggle to sell out unless they're having a rare spectacular season. The Bobcats only sell out when a big name player is in town, the hated Hornets no longer produce much of a buzz due to a justified inability to hate Katrina-ravaged New Orleans. Do you really think a Tuesday night affair pitting a Charlotte team against the Kansas City Royals, Tampa Bay Rays or anyone not called the Braves, Yankees, Mets, Cubs, or Red Sox would even draw a 5-figure crowd? I'm not regurgitating some line from the Observer, but it wouldn't. Most of Charlotte's new population only has one connection to the city, that they live here. They don't care about Charlotte's teams unless they start winning. Also, the native population and transplants that do care about Charlotte sports teams would have reservations about supporting a relocated team because they know first hand how terrible it feels to have a team you plowed hundreds and thousands of dollars into ripped away. On top of that you have to remember that a large portion of the population doesn't give a crap about sports in the first place.

Why do I rant on here if nobody reads it? Oh yea, Jane is in school so I can't heap buckets of praise on her right now and the ground is covered in ice and snow so I have to do other stuff.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tom Cruise is scary

Gawker (search: Tom Cruise) has a video, which everyone has probably seen and I'm way late, of Tom Cruise talking about Scientology, it's pretty crazy. At one point he just starts laughing uncontrollably and then stops. It's pretty weird.

Oh, and McCrory won't win Governor. Not because he's from Charlotte but because the Republicans in Charlotte are pissed at him over light rail and will vote for the other Republicans, and as a Mecklenburger he NEEDS Charlotte to have a chance. Why did I post that?

We're gonna get an ice storm and I'm really, really skinny so that's not much fun for me!

Yea, that's all I have to post about. As you can see from my twitter I spend most of my time worshiping at the alter of Jane, and aside from that, to quote her royal highness, "I don't do much".

Monday, January 14, 2008

Janey's got a new job

And I'm very, very, very, very, very, extremely, inexplicably proud of her.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I'm getting a real estate license

...and it's probably an incredibly stupid decision given the current less than healthy state of the American housing market, although Charlotte's market has somehow found a way to saunter on it's obvious there are problems here too, seventy-seven homes in one Beazer developed starter home community have gone into foreclosure since August 2007. Yeah.

In all honesty it's probably my ergophobia that's making me shy away from a normal path of employment. I also think my oceans of useless knowledge about Mecklenburg County could be put to use as a real estate agent (how many other 23 year olds know that "Sharon Amity" signifies the unification of the Charlotte and Sharon townships?). God I'm a geek.

So, yea, that's what I'm going to do.

I played the lotto with (the splendiferous) Jane's numbers and didn't win anything, hopefully she'll have better luck.

Friday, January 11, 2008