Friday, July 17, 2009

On some of that ol' Jeremy Mayfield sh*t

It won't stop. It just won't.

I'm not a great NASCAR fan, but I do live in Charlotte which would make me an expert in NASCAR by the standards of any other city.

In Charlotte, Jeremy Mayfield's court battle with NASCAR is as big a news item as the Sonia Sotomayor confirmation hearings, and a bigger deal than the Mexico v United States match being on Mun2. That's to be expected though, NASCAR is more or less Charlotte's second biggest industry after incompetent guys in suits screwing up and getting bailed out by the same people they keep trying to screw over, I mean banking.

By now I'm sure everyone knows, it's even mainstream on ESPN. Back in May NASCAR claimed that Jeremy Mayfield failed a drug test and announced he'd be suspended. Mayfield denied any accusations of doing drugs, as you would expect, and demanded that NASCAR lift his ban. NASCAR said "no", they can do that because one family owns NASCAR, it's not like the Premier League, the NFL, or The Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques League Cup, well, it's a little like that one. Of course upon hearing that NASCAR denied his request, Mayfield sued them. He went out and got Charlotte's biggest (literally and figuratively) lawyer, Bill Diehl (random fact: Bill Diehl's wife was my third grade teacher, and a good one at that - six degrees of NASCAR, bitches) to represent him in court. NASCAR countersued and everything went crazy. Eventually Diehl found a way to get Jeremy's ban lifted by the courts, NASCAR was pissed. Mayfield was allowed to show up at Daytona, NASCAR even had guys at the gate waiting on him, no word on whether or not they also had a truck load of wild Pit Bulls. Mayfield didn't bring his #41 car to the track.

Mayfield also no-showed the following week (at "Chicago") and rumors began to circle as to why, some accused him of doing meth again. On July 15th NASCAR announced that Mayfield had failed a drug test, again for meth, on July 6th and had a sworn statement from his stepmother saying she'd seen him snort meth at least "thirty times" in a seven-year period. Mayfield blew his top. He said of his stepmother "She's pretty much a whore" and said that she "shot and killed (his) dad". He also said she's always trying to get money out of him, that she's a golddigger, and a trashy bitch, rumor has it he dropped the C-bomb on her too. She sure sounds like a class act. But, if she saw him doing it "at a race shop in Mooresville (Mooresville is a giant race shop, basically)", why didn't anyone else in the race shop see it. Okay, he may have been alone with her at that time, I'll concede that, but why didn't she alert NASCAR to the problem knowing that a tweaked-out driver was putting at least fourty-two other lives at risk every week?

Mayfield also said of Brian France: “Brian France out there talking about effective drug policy, it’s kind of like Al Capone talking about effective law enforcement. And that’s the way I feel about it. The pot shouldn’t be calling the kettle black, you know what I’m saying? And I think the world needs to hear that, too.” Which I thought was hilarious.

That was it, that was Jeremy's story, or at least that was Jeremy's version of the story. A couple of days later I got the truth from Tommy, you always got the truth from Tommy, it was one of his major weaknesses. He never lied, he never took drugs, and he never cheated on anyone...wait, that never happened.

Anyway, back on topic. Mayfield says he's going to fight NASCAR with everything he's got, and he will. One thing that has to be said for Jeremy Mayfield is that he doesn't know when to quit, he doesn't know how to give up. He never has, he never will. If he's lying then he's really playing with fire, but if he's telling the truth NASCAR could end up in a world of hurt. WADA has already said their drug testing policies are garbage and NASCAR still refuses to adhear to WADA guidelines, probably because WADA is European. Because of NASCAR's hardheadedness on this issue there's still a chance that the judge will rule against them, having expressed disfavor with NASCAR's testing methods in the past. Jeremy also says that he has passed several independent lab tests since May, if he's telling the truth, Brian France has some 'splainin' to do. Okay, enough channeling Tom Coburn.

Somewhat on topic, but meth is/was considered a WMD in parts of North Carolina. Really.

But remember, when you say the name of the make that wins the championship in 2011: it's Hyundai (Hun-Day), like "Sunday".

That said, this evil little peace loving librul needs his sleep.

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