Friday, October 30, 2009

Dear Lou Pritchett,

Shush.

Lou Pritchett was at Procter and Gamble (good folks) for awhile, he recently wrote a letter about how scary and mysterious Barack Obama is. It's a pretty crappy letter, about the same quality as those chain e-mails that people send saying we have to press 1 to hear the phone message in English. Anyway, here it is in all it's "glory":

(Link to Snopes)

AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

Dear President Obama:
You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.

- Well, there is something a little different about him. I just can't put my finger on what it is though!

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.

-Because it's not like Barack Obama has been in the public eye for almost thirteen years or anything.

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.

-Student loans are an urban legend and all lawyers are dirt poor.

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.

-Someone should probably tell Hawai'i it isn't part of America.

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.

-Forget everything you learned in Civics, only CEOs can be President.

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.

-And Army officers.

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.

-Because Bush never blamed Clinton and Reagan never blamed Carter.

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.

-"Even though no one has any proof you're an extremist, I'm going to call you one anyway. BRB, polluting America's natural resources with dioxin."

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America' crowd and deliver this message abroad.

-Dang, I must've missed that Obama flag-burning rally.

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.

-Because in Europe you aren't allowed to have a business.

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.

-"Obama you asshole, I've got stock in Aetna."

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.

-Yea, like that guy Boone Pickens. Pickens knows nothing about the energy industry, NOTHING! Oh, wait.

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.

-We're actually 15th in that, Lou. 12 of the 14 countries ahead of us are in that Europe place you're so down on.

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.

-"You're allowed to give them money, but not allowed to ask for stuff in return."

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.

-Yea, Obama, what were you thinking starting two wars we had no ability to pay for ? Oh, wait, that wasn't you? Nevermind.

You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.

-Like you?

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.

-Gangsta.

You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.

-I'll get to this in a second.

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O'Relllys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.

-These people aren't the media? I didn't see anywhere where he said they couldn't talk.

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.

-BRB, Obama is making me pour him a drink. *rolls eyes*

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.

-2009+8=2017. Obama's would be term limited in 2016. I'm not sure Lou understands math.

*facepalm*

Friday, October 16, 2009

Meghan McCain isn't a slut

I should be in bed, I want to be in bed, but I'm too bitchy at the moment.

Meghan McCain isn't a slut, she just isn't. Do I know the girl personally? No. I'd certainly like to, but I don't. The American -- and it usually is only our media for this type of thing, we have the sensitivity of Puritans with the attention-span of mall-rats -- media had a hissy-fit over a picture Meghan posted on her twitter account, she had on a tank-top and because of that she was branded a whore. I don't want to sound like a perv, but she'd have to wear a full-body suit to hide those things. She wasn't intentionally showing her tits, and she isn't a whore. It's a non-story. There are much, much more important things for the media to report on, but most of them don't sell ads for Viagra so we never, ever hear about them. Instead we get crap like this which more-or-less made the girl cry. Good job, media, good job.

Did you know a tropical storm formed in the gulf today? Well, one did. But tropical storms aren't salacious until they hit a city are they?

Meghan is not fat either. Good lord, I'd like to see the people saying she is.

I know, Green, bleeding-heart liberal Bobby defending Meghan McCain?! For some reason, conservative girls are my weakness. *facepalm*

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The USL, Charlotte's World Cup Bid, and a Fun-Sized Green Diva

No, this isn't "Which one of these things doesn't belong", and I'm not Grover. Though we have the same wrist circumference.

We aren't posting USL stuff on majorleaguesoccertalk.com much anymore because some people get pissy when we do. I don't know why, they just do. The very mention of the USL is more controversial to some MLS fans than the bank bailout and the abortion issue combined, and almost as polarizing as Billy-fucking-Mitchell. Damn. But, Kartik Krishnaiyer has posted a write-up about how the USL-related shit has totally hit the fan since August, read it: here.

I think the USL and the TOA need to get there crap together and look at how the J. League works. It's a successful summer-based league in a capitalist country with competing sports that manages to take time off for FIFA days. Can you imagine? Looking at something that actually works. I mean, it's crazy. But that won't happen since the situation has devolved to the point where the two-parties may well start flinging their own feces at one another. You know, like the Democrats and Republicans. Feces-flinging, welcome to the new America.

On a brighter soccer-related note, Charlotte is still in the running to host World Cup matches should the US win the right to do so in either 2018 or 2022. Charlotte is far from the most famous city on the list, and far from the most prosperous, but it should host matches anyway. Why? Because it can. Charlotte has a successful history of hosting big events, it does so every year when it plays host to the NASCAR All-Star race and Coca-Cola 600, two of the biggest events in motorsports. The CIAA has seemingly fallen madly in love with Charlotte as a host for it's showpiece event, it's basketball tournament and the ACC has decided to put it's football championship in the same stadium that would host World Cup matches. Charlotte's track record is nothing short of wonderful. Furthermore, Charlotte isn't playing the "we simply deserve it" card, it actually wants to host. You can support Charlotte's World Cup dream here.

Oh, and Jane. Who isn't small, she's fun-sized, hosted a conference today about the Ford Fiesta at her school. She's a Fiesta Agent and as such, she's driving the Fiesta for six-months. If you want a new car, and happen to want an economical American car, you should watch her Fiesta Movement videos. It looks like a fun little car, and no FTC, I'm not on Ford's payroll, and as of March 2009, not on Jane's either. So you'll have to find some other way to make money.

Friday, October 2, 2009

The National Parks: America's Best Idea

"I have here seen the power and glory of a Supreme being: the majesty of His handy-work is in that 'Testimony of the Rocks.' That mute appeal-pointing to El Capitan-illustrates it, with more convincing eloquence than can the most powerful arguments of surpliced priests." - Lafayette Bunnell
I'm not sure if it's more indicative of the quality of programming the PBS is able to produce, or the lack of quality shown by the other offerings, but PBS has been -- by far -- the best channel on American television for sometime now, and yes, I have cable.

PBS has again defended it's place at the top of the pile with it's decision to broadcast the latest documentary from the esteemed film maker and historian Ken Burns called "The National Parks: America's Best Idea".

The six-part mini-series is a home-run, an amazingly in-depth look at America's greatest, most sacred, and probably most under-appreciated treasures. The awe-inspiring cinematography is surpassed only by the grippingly interesting stories about larger-than-life historical figures such as the great and eloquent naturalist John Muir - an East Lothian-born man and son of a Presbyterian minister who found new life amidst the soaring Secoyas of California and went on to play an instrumental role in the foundation of the National Parks idea - and Stephen Mather - a wildly successful businessman who would spend large sums of his own fortune supporting the parks he would eventually go on to run, and who often succumbed to deep spells of depression but found himself miraculously cured by trips into the wilderness.

This seems to be Burns' magnum opus, and that is high praise considering the quality of his work, and is a must watch for anyone interested in history or the natural world. For those who haven't seen it, and wish to, the episodes are online until October third at: www.PBS.org/nationalparks