Friday, December 4, 2009

Reckless Driving

Yes, I'm expanding on a blog post she made. No, I'm not copying it.

I nearly got killed today. Seriously.

This isn't like Jane's post where a "techie", or a "Gen-Y", or a "Millennial" was texting her BFF Jill. No, there's a term for this person. This person is a wanker. Full stop.

I don't care what's on television, I don't care who's at the club, I don't care who you have a date with or if you have reservations at the best place in all of Charlotte. I don't care. I stopped at a stop sign, like I'm supposed to do, you don't honk your horn at me when I let a truck that was 10 yards from the stop sign go passed. I'm not holding you up or cramping your style. Those skanks that nobody else wants will still be in that third rate club that no one with class goes to, it's fine. Now, I can forgive honking, that's the natural road behavior of the wanker, everyone comes into contact with these people, possibly multiple times on a single trip. What I can't forgive is you blowing by me at 40-miles-per-hour in a 20-miles-per-hour zone and not only nearly taking the front-end off of my car, and possibly injuring me and my passeneger, but nearly taking the rear-end off the car in-front of us and nearly injuring a woman and her passenger. Her passenger being a child that wasn't possibly any greater than five-years-of-age.

I have anger issues, I really do. People occasionally get a laugh out of them, I even have a cute nickname, "Princess Bobby". But kidding aside they're very serious, and they take a negative toll on my already fragile health. I was able to collect myself and avoid road rage. But this person wasn't done, he didn't beat the next stop-light (Karma's a bitch) and I ended-up behind him, he had another go with his finger. I got a bit pissed, admittedly, but I was able to snuff my fuse one again, but I did get the license tag of the wanker-in-question and you can rest assured it will be in CMPD's databases tomorrow. Will they do anything? Probably not. And knowing that nearly inspired me to take justice into my own hands, but again I was able to hold my rage. I can't have a murder charge on me, my skinny ass is not cut out for the penitentiary. No way.

My personal issues aside, this is a problem. It's happened to Jane before, numerous times. It's happened to others I know, numerous times. If there was a medicial emergency, I could understand, really. There are emergency services that will help you get to the proper facilities safely, use them, your tax dollars pay for them. Mr Wanker didn't have an emergency, he's just full-of-himself.

If you happen to be full-of-yourself, a wanker, or just a douchebag-in-general and are reading this, think about something. I make a genuine effort to be a peaceful person. Yea, I'm a hippie. I don't care what people think about that. But what if I wasn't? Many people in my current position, an emotional wreck on the very end of their last and final tether, could've lost the plot right there. Could've pulled the car up next to him and emptied a clip. Could've shot that wanker dead. It's happened before, and it'll happen again. Just consider that next time you think the world is indeed yours.

Nothing is worth a losing a life. Nothing.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Plush Hobbes Doll

So, I've never sewn anything before. In fact, October 31st was the first time I've ever threaded a needle so I went into this project without a clue as to what I was doing. After watching a few tutorials on how to prepare my sewing area, which is basically my computer desk, I set to work on sewing a plush Hobbes doll.

Jane is a big fan of Calvin & Hobbes, and she's been quiet good to me through some difficult times this year, so I wanted to make her something unique for Christmas. Of course, I'm not the first person to make a plush Hobbes doll, other people have done it with greater success than me (see here, and here). You can't buy them because Bill Watterson -- the creator of Calvin & Hobbes -- doesn't licence his products for retail, it's fine to make them for personal amusement, but you can't sell them. And I actually agree with that, it does somewhat cheapen the image when it's plastered all over everything. I'm not really good at buying gifts for people anyway -- some people are, Jane for instance is great at it -- so I tend to favor making things.

So, here it is. Apologies that I forgot to take photos in steps, I worked on it whenever I got time and it slipped my mind to take photos of the parts.

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The materials before I cut them apart.

I had to make the pattern myself, and obviously if I've never sewn before, I've never made a sewing pattern before. Honestly I was completely lost at this point, so much so that I was using a plush Easter Bunny as my pin cushion. I later found out that paper scissors and fabric scissors are not the same thing!

So, after about 20 total hours of work, and some very sore finger-tips later, I finished the doll. It's 10 inches (a 0.25 meters) tall. In total it's sixty-one pieces. I didn't quite get all the stripes the perfect distance so I had to do some additions to some, the striping was mind-numbingly boring.

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The finished doll on my bed.

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He's not that tiny, I have gigantic hands. And yes, skinny arms.

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I wanted to make his head fatter, but the thread didn't want me to.

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View of the face and front torso.

The tail is a bit loose, and that's really my only worry with it's stability.

I bought the thread and stuffing locally, but the fleece came from a website called Fleece Queen. The price was pretty low, and I'm not exactly made of money, and they got it to me quickly and with no hassle so if you ever find yourself buying fleece online, I recommend them. And no, they didn't pay me to say that, if only they did!

Overall, I'm pretty happy with how he turned out. Jane seems very happy with him, and that's really all that matters. He did survive being shipped 1,100 miles from Charlotte, North Carolina to North Texas on Thanksgiving week, so I'm thankful for that. My friends say it came out well, but then again, they're my friends and they might just be being nice to me.

Though if you want something much cooler, you can buy one of Jane's duct tape wallets, she works hard on them and they've all come out really well. This is mine. You can see the rest of them at her Flickr page. Go to her site: www.janeds.tv to find out how to order one. I guess that's sort of a plug, even though I don't work for her at the moment. (I used to be her PA, for those unaware). They are nice though, Jane's a creative girl.

Okay. That's that. Maybe I'll make more crafty stuff in the future, people are always harping me to do artistic things (and try to qualify for Jeopardy!, but that's a different story), so maybe I will.