How a Green would fix your mess

Yes, your mess. We didn't make it, you never elect us, you never even pay attention to us. You crapped on the floor, and now you're bickering about the best way to fix it. Not only are you fighting each other, you're fighting yourselves! Normal Democrats are mad at "Blue Dog" Democrats, Ohio Republicans are mad at Southern Republicans. You aren't getting anything done, the crap is still on the rug and if you don't clean it up soon you're going to need a Rug Doctor, and we're fresh out of cash to afford one because they're really expensive.

But, listen, I can fix it! I have ideas, big ones!

First thing I'd do is the most obvious one of all, legalize marijuana. It's shocking that it's illegal in the first place, let alone in 2009. The legalization and subsequent taxation of marijuana would be a cash cow for the cash strapped government. I could go into the medical benefits that marijuana has, but I've already done that. They're well stated, regardless of what the drug czar says, I have it on good authority that he's an idiot. The legalization of marijuana would also mean that restrictions on it's sister plant, hemp, would be lifted. Hemp can make all sorts of cool things, you can even eat hemp seeds and they're really good for you. Hemp can also be converted to ethanol which serves two goods: first is that it frees up corn to become exclusively a food source once again, and second is that it's rapid growth rate would help loosen imported oil's death grip on our economy. Of course, the oil and pharmaceutical industries would be none-too-pleased with this which is why we would have to outlaw corporate lobbying.

But that's not all! Call now and we'll outfit every municipal, county, state and federal building with green power systems and save tax payers a bundle by dramatically cutting the power bills for those buildings! Yes, that includes the sports venues that billionaires held cities and states over a barrel to build, those would get the same treatment and the associated sports owners wouldn't see a dime of revenue from it. Take this for instance, that's the Charlotte Bobcats Arena, a municipally constructed venue in the heart of Charlotte with a bare concrete roof. Do you not see the potential there? Next to the arena is the CATS bus hub, it would also be outfitted with them.

Recently Peter Gorman, he's the head of Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, a failed educational organization in Charlotte, fired a bunch of teachers and announced that he may have to cut middle school sports. If you put self-reliant energy systems in the schools you could save a ton of money.

Of course, making marijuana legal would free up a lot of room in the prison system which would give us the ability to shut some prisons down and save even more money.

What would we do with all this money? Well, we'd have universal healthcare and bridges that don't fall apart.

It'd be nice, but you won't listen to us.

North and South Carolina should probably look at legalizing marijuana

Another person has been arrested for growing marijuana in the Carolinas. This time it's a dentist, a highly educated doctor who may well see jail time for this. North Carolina's already overstretched prison infrastructure will get yet another inmate who hasn't harmed anyone or anything, and North Carolina's overstretched medical infrastructure will lose yet another professional.

Both Carolinas have always been, and still are, tobacco producing States. Some of us aren't proud of that but we won't bash the farmers for growing it, no one bashes farmers who grow the ingredients for beer and it's harmful, yet it's celebrated as a staple of Americana. With the recent tobacco legislation farmers in the Carolinas are going to take a huge hit, and while ten months ago this may have been a small deal ever since the banking industry (a major Carolina employer) has fallen on it's face our secondary industries are a big deal. North and South Carolina both rank in the top ten of unemployment.

Which brings me back to the issue of marijuana, something which is somewhat of a "hot button" issue due to it's status as a "gateway drug" (don't tell anyone, but so is beer). Many people demonize marijuana as some evil substance sent by the devil or something, despite the fact that it has been shown to be less harmful than alcohol to the human body. In fact, hundreds die from an alcohol overdose ever year, there has never been a recorded marijuana overdose. In fact, alcoholism is the third leading cause of death in America. Marijuana addiction hasn't really caused any. Celebrated. Americana. Among smokers who smoke marijuana exclusively there have been zero (as in, less than one) cases of lung cancer caused by smoking. Alcohol contributes to the destruction of the liver, kidneys, pancreases, and heart. While small amounts of alcohol are touted as being healthy, marijuana's active ingredient actually kills cancer cells. Kills cancer cells.

I don't think alcohol should be illegal, you should have a right to drink if you want to, but for it to be legal and marijuana to be illegal is simply mind-boggling. But how does this effect North and South Carolina you ask? Well, the federal government seems to be asleep at the wheel on this topic. The reason they banned marijuana in the first place was because so many racists were in power at the time and they wanted to arrest Mexicans. Really. North and South Carolina have endless tobacco fields, thus endless space for growing marijuana. Both States, regardless of what Mark Sanford says, need tax revenue badly. Even Bev knows that and she's stupid. Marijuana legalization could provide a lifeline for the farmer who will be hurt by the tobacco legislation and provide the two States with a stream of tax money at the same time it will stop harmless people from clogging up our prison system. This is without mentioning the benefits of legalizing marijuana's sister plant Hemp, which is being studied for many, many uses including ethanol.

Honestly, it's 2009. It's time to move forward.