Oh. My. God.

This post might be a bit graphic.

Ok, so I'm a 23-year-old American male and I'm uninsurable. I stand 6-feet-7-inches tall (203cm), weigh 155 pounds (70 kg/11 stone) and my Body Mass Index is around 16.9, which is (obviously) incredibly low. Because of my size it was thought at one time that I suffered from a potentially fatal connectivity disorder called Marfans Syndrome, which US President Abraham Lincoln suffered from. Basically everything is elongated, including the aorta. Due to the elongation, everything, including the aorta, could potentially tear. This is why I can't get private insurance, because despite being cleared of malignant Marfans, I'm now seen as a liability.

Unfortunately, I'm also very prone to kidney stones, something which I inherited from my mother. Despite my rather young age, I've dealt with them on several occasions, including this weekend. On Thursday morning I woke up with a feeling which I can only describe as "having a nail in my kidney", I knew what it was right away, but I was not ready for what happened. I went through Thursday and Friday limping around, I tried to sit as much as possible, and got through the days ok. On Saturday morning at roughly 10:30 AM EDT I passed my kidney stone, or so I thought. Hours later the pain returned, and on Sunday morning I passed another, smaller but sharper, stone, but the pain was still there, oh boy! Around an hour-and-a-half ago I passed a third stone, another small one, but as you can imagine, by this point my cock feels like Officer Alex J. Murphy from the opening scene of "RoboCop" and I STILL had pain. Roughly 20 minutes ago I passed the fourth, and largest stone. Luckly, and hopefully, this seems like the last.

I may be whining here, and I think I deserve to, but for all the money this country spends on crap you'd think I'd be able to go to a doctor and get this taken care of instead of spending my weekend pissing out what seemed to be a pint of blood, two stones THE SIZE OF FUCKING LEMON SEEDS, and two shards of them...FUCK THIS SHIT!

Wow, looking for a job sucks

I'm too idealistic to find a job. I'm too idealistic to find anything for that matter. My morals always get in the way. I saw an ad for a production assistant for a local morning show and didn't even bother applying because I was sure I'd be turned down, and thinking that made me depressed again. I've been told by people (ok, a person) I care deeply about that I need to stop beating myself up, and I try...I swear I try but I always end up thinking about how useless I am again. I'm sorry if I constantly let you down by doing this to myself, I really am, you know upsetting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do.

I'm starting to think I'll never find anything. Not only am I strange but I get a lot of stares because of heightism everytime I apply for a job, not only that but I'm underweight and for some reason being skinny (whether or not you want to be) has become a crime. Yay for lesser known forms of discrimination! The heightism one (short people get it too) is actually as bad as racism since like your race, you didn't choose your height.