Wow, looking for a job sucks

I'm too idealistic to find a job. I'm too idealistic to find anything for that matter. My morals always get in the way. I saw an ad for a production assistant for a local morning show and didn't even bother applying because I was sure I'd be turned down, and thinking that made me depressed again. I've been told by people (ok, a person) I care deeply about that I need to stop beating myself up, and I try...I swear I try but I always end up thinking about how useless I am again. I'm sorry if I constantly let you down by doing this to myself, I really am, you know upsetting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do.

I'm starting to think I'll never find anything. Not only am I strange but I get a lot of stares because of heightism everytime I apply for a job, not only that but I'm underweight and for some reason being skinny (whether or not you want to be) has become a crime. Yay for lesser known forms of discrimination! The heightism one (short people get it too) is actually as bad as racism since like your race, you didn't choose your height.